What is rimming? Everything you ever wanted to know about anilingus

“Eating arse”, “bum licking” or “tossing the salad”, are all names by which rimming or anilingus are known.

Oral-to-anal sex is loved by many. So many, in fact, that Google searches around the topic are through the roof – including those looking for the official definition of rimming or the top tips for giving a great ass job.

Search terms like “rimming vid” are also massively popular as people enjoy watching the act sometimes as much as performing it.

Lots of people still have questions about eating their partner’s bum, such as “how to clean my ass before sex” and “do women enjoy rimming?”

We’ve answered all the pressing questions below, dear reader. So scroll and enjoy. Oh, and probably don’t leave this open on your work web browser.

What is rimming?

Rimming is the act of sexually stimulating someone’s anus by licking or sucking it.

It is popular among same-sex male couples but is practiced by people of all sexual orientations and genders.

Will rimming hurt?

As with all sexual acts, unless a controlled level of safe pain is intended, then rimming shouldn’t hurt.

Communication with your partner or partners is key in ensuring that everyone consents and is comfortable in any sexual situation and that everyone gets the maximum pleasure possible from eating ass or having their ass eaten.

Particularly with anal play, and the first time or times trying it out, taking it slow and saying what you like and/or are uncomfortable with is very important. The bum is a sensitive area with lots of nerve endings and should be treated with care.

How do I rim someone?

This is very much up to you, what you are into and what your partner likes. It is usual to use the lips and tongue to stimulate the outside of the anus, and surrounding area.

Taking it one step at a time, you can gauge what your partner likes and doesn’t like, alternating from gently stimulating the outer arse before moving slightly further inside to explore with your tongue.

Easier than trying to guess is talking – ask your partner if they like what you’re doing (if you’re the giver) or tell them if you particularly like or don’t like a sensation you’re feeling. This will mean you both get the most out of your new hobby.

And what about technique when rimming

The rimming technique depends on the person, how tight and sensitive their bum might be and what they might be into.

The key here is for both parties to be as relaxed as possible and feel as confident in their position as they can.

Position, giving the rimmer access to the rim-ee’s butt, is pretty important here. The receiver could lie on their front, cheeks spread, or kneel up, allowing them a little control if things get a bit too intense while allowing the giver to have clear access to the opening.

Try out different techniques – different levels of rimming intensity, alternate between depths of penetration using the tongue and gauge what your partner likes through the sounds they make and what they say.

That said, and especially if you are new to rimming, it is advisable not to go straight in for the ahem kill, as it were. Working around your partner’s hole is a good starting point, and being gentle. Not only will this allow you to gauge what they want, but will feel great for the receiver. Then if you want to use your tongue to stimulate further inside, they will be more relaxed and you will be able to tell how they like to have their ass eaten.

We are sure you won’t disappoint.

How do I make sure everything is clean down there for rimming?

There are various steps to ensure you’re clean and ready to go when it comes to rimming.

You can take extra steps to not only clean yourself for your partner but to ensure that you are confident enough to lay back and enjoy your rimming experience with full confidence that you smell and taste great.

Showering: Probably not necessary to point out, but giving yourself a good scrub on and around the anus area will make sure you smell beautiful as well as taste great.

It is best not to use strong smelling soaps around the bum anyway to avoid irritation and other issues, but also avoid using potent-smelling sprays or oils after you get out. You don’t want your partner to have to taste your cologne when they go down on you, even if it does make you smell great.

Douching: It goes without saying that germs and dirt can be spread during oral-to-anal play. Thorough cleaning outside is one thing, but if you are going for some heavy anal play, particularly rimming, it is probably advisable to douche first. But lots of people don’t know how to douche.

Douching involves using water to flush out the lowest part of the colon, getting rid of any poo particles that might be hanging out there, to ensure there are no nasty surprises.

Shower or toilet attachment douches are available on sites like Amazon, and you can get portable versions which are refillable from the tap and have a small nozzle to let you clean yourself wherever you are.

You may be fine without douching as rimming only stimulates the very inside of the anal opening, but if you are going on to other anal play, it is recommended, and in order to feel squeaky clean for your partner to eat your ass, it might be worthwhile if you are just sticking to rimming.

Shaving: This is a tricky one – you may be into shaving your anus anyway, in which case it might be more pleasant for your partner, if that’s how they like it.

If you or your partner has a preference when it comes to shaving, that’s fine! The only things to bear in mind are – if there is hair there, to make sure it is extra clean, and if there is not that the receiver doesn’t shave too close which can cause bumps and nicks – either of these could leave either partner prone to germs and possibly infection. Perhaps trimming rather than shaving might be a happy compromise.

Flavoured lubes: While you have to face up to the fact that you are putting your mouth to someone else’s butthole, flavoured lubes can detract from that fact a little if you are a bit squeamish. While they usually taste a bit chemically, they might help you relax if you are giving someone anilingus for the first time.

How else can I prepare to have my ass eaten?

This all depends on your preferences and your own.

How do I know if someone is into rimming?

Ask! Talking to your partner(s) or potential partner(s) is the most important thing. Some people will be into having their starfish eaten out but others will not be up for rimming.

A conversation about wanting to try mouth-to-ass play is really the only way you will be able to tell if a regular partner or hook-up will want to indulge in the act, and will set any boundaries if needed.

But this is really nothing to be ashamed of and you should feel comfortable enough to bring it up if you and a partner have never tried rimming before – it’ll also help you to feel relaxed when it comes down to doing the deed.

Is rimming safe or dangerous?

Eating an ass can be a very pleasurable experience both for giver and receiver.

But as with any sex act, it doesn’t come without some risks including increased risk of Hepatitis A transmission, as well as the usual, gonorrhoea, chlamydia, warts, etc. Getting regularly tested and being treated when you do have an STI is advisable, as for anyone who is sexually active.

Of course, using your mouth to stimulate a partner’s anal opening comes with extra risks of transmitting germs, and has been linked to heightened risks of giardia and other illnesses. But despite this, it is a fairly common sexual practice, and with good hygiene can be enjoyed without much worry.

Over-douching can also cause small cuts in the anal opening and could increase risks, so cleaning properly, but not over doing it is advisable.

Can I make rimming safer?

You can use a dental dam as a barrier which will protect against some STIs. It is a small square of latex (latex free versions available) which you can use as a barrier between your mouth and their bum to reduce the risk of some STIs.

If you can’t find dental dams, you can cut a condom lengthways in order to make your own, and if you are still unsure, you can speak to a health adviser at your local sexual health clinic for advice.

But the most important thing is to enjoy yourself – you have embarked on this exciting mouth-to-anal adventure – and you should relax, embrace it, and enjoy it more than anything.

In the words of Alaska: “Anusthing is possible!”