Tom Daley hits back at surrogacy critics: I don’t care what they say, I’m going to be a dad
(CHRISTOPHE SIMON/AFP/Getty Images)
Tom Daley has responded to critics of his impending fatherhood with husband Dustin Lance Black.
The 23-year-old Olympic diver has been pilloried in the UK’s right-wing press after announcing plans to have a baby via surrogate.
Tabloid columnists insisted it was “not normal” for two men to have a baby, while others claimed the pair were “exploiting” a woman to have a child – though the pair have since shared details about their surrogacy arrangement that rubbished most of the claims.
Speaking to the Times today, Daley opened up about what it was like to be attacked just for wanting to be a father.
Tom Daley (Photo by Clive Rose/Getty Images)
He said: “We have an egg donor and a surrogate and we feel very lucky.
“I am able to live my life without worrying what people think. People say whatever they say. I get tons [of abuse] every day, but at the end of the day, I’m married with a kid on the way and I don’t care what anyone says.
“I don’t care if they don’t like it. It took me a long time to get to that place but I am here. I think, ‘Whatever.'”
Speaking about how impending fatherhood has impacted him, Daley added: “It has changed me. Even flying out on the plane I am normally fine with turbulence and just fall asleep, but now I’m thinking, ‘It’s not just me.’
“Holy crap, I have to worry about looking after a human being and being in charge of making sure they survive and thrive.
“Diving is no longer my number one [concern]. My child is number one and diving is number two and, for me, that order might help.
“All of a sudden coming to training is no longer my crazy, chaotic time; it’s the quiet time without a screaming, pooping child.”
(Photo by Charlie Crowhurst/Getty Images)
His husband Dustin Lance Black, an Oscar-winning screenwriter, previously said that he plans to take on most of the parenting duties in order to allow Daley to continue training ahead of the 2020 Olympics, which is expected to be the athlete’s last Games.
Black recently said that the negative reaction within the UK was fuelled by “misconceptions” – and revealed that after months of silence, he and his husband have decided to be very public about their parenthood in order to challenge people’s opinions.
He said: “We have made a decision to move forward on this with full transparency, and if at all possible shed some light on what surrogacy really is, what gay parenting really is. If it makes it easier for others going forward, we will do that.”
Black and Daley recently confirmed that they conceived the child via an egg donor, with a woman who has asked not to be named publicly volunteering as a surrogate.
Opening up about their choice of surrogate, Black added: “I’ve read a couple of the tweets and there’s some big misconceptions out there about what this process is.
Tom Daley and Dustin Lance Black
“I’ve never heard of someone who does not know their surrogate, and doesn’t know them well. A part of the process is either choosing someone you know and love and have that relationship with… or you have to build a relationship like that.
“The women who are willing to do this and give this gift to couples who can’t have children – there is a love and a warmth and a generosity and a kindness that’s difficult not to fall in love with. We certainly have that with ours. We do love her very much.”
Even some women’s rights campaigners criticised the couple – over false suggestions in the tabloid press that they had “rented” a commercial surrogate.
Daley said: “It’s difficult because you see stuff online. We know we have wanted a kid more than anything in the world. When people judge about us using a surrogate and stuff… there are people who can’t have kids, and I don’t think there would be as much drama if it was a straight couple.
“Take Kim Kardashian, for example – she used a surrogate and there wasn’t any issue with it. There is an element of difference in terms of the way we’ve been treated.”
