Explainer

What is douching? Getting yourself ready for anal sex

Apr 19 2018
Written by Danny Polaris

Simply put, ‘douching’ is rinsing your ass with water so it’s free of waste matter before you have sex.

For many gay men, getting a ‘sexual home run’ means anal sex with your partner. But before you attempt to go any further, it’s worth thinking about preparation.

Anal sex can feel like an incredibly invasive way to be intimate, and for obvious reasons, it’s not as simple as just sticking it in.

Sometimes you can, and everything will be fine, but other times your parts will come back out covered in things you’d rather not share publicly with your partner.

The good news is there’s a way to remedy the awkward reality of anal sex.

Welcome to the art of douching. Although, it’s not really an art, it’s pretty simple, rather quick and really something you and your partner should be doing.

Otherwise, accidents can happen.

We all know that the ass isn’t just for getting f**ked in, it’s for waste removal too. Keep wet wipes by your bed in case of emergencies, but before you get down to it…

A Bulb Douche in Cerulean Blue (Creative Commons)

Why should I douche?

For some of you guys, douching may only occasionally be necessary before sex – but that’s if you have a super-healthy diet full of fibre (grains, cereals, nuts, fruit, vegetables).

Essentially, guys with such a healthy gut are rare and most – to be safe – tend to douche just to make the sexual experience cleaner and more straightforward for both parties.

Fibre supplements can help with a cleaner gut longer-term, but douching is a more direct solution to getting your butt f**k-ready.

Douching doesn’t have to take very long.

A quick rinse can give you more confidence in the bedroom if you’re a bottom or versatile guy.

If you are by the way, read my guide to being penetrated by your partner.

Different types of douche

There are two main kinds of douche: Bulb Douche and Shower Douche.

They come in different shapes and sizes, and at a wide range of prices.

A Bulb Douche is a rubber bulb with a plastic nozzle attached. They can be effective for a quick rinse if you just want to be extra-sure you’re clean. The down side? They don’t contain much water, so if you feel a bit ‘fuller,’ or if you’ve had loose stools / soft poos recently, it can take a number of attempts before you’re done.

You can get a Bulb Douche for as cheap as £7.99. This is a popular choice on Amazon for its affordability and ease of use and is probably a good place to start. There are other models and shapes available and you can shop Bulb Douches on the Amazon page here.

A Shower Douche is an attachment you add to the end of your shower hose. You take the shower head off, and put this attachment on. It’s safer than just sticking the hose up your butt because it can be cleaned more easily, and because it’ll restrict the flow of water. More on that later.

These start from £8.99 for a basic nozzle, while kits are also available at varied prices. You can get Shower Douches from Amazon here.

A shower douche can look like this, or, more like a dildo (Creative Commons)

How to douche

This depends on what kind of douche you’re using, but the basic steps are more or less the same. Whatever your preference, these points should help.

Fill the douche with water, not soapy water. It’ll sting and irritate your ass and you won’t want anything in there.
Make sure you’re near a toilet before you start. You’ll need this to dispose of the stuff your going to be dislodging.
Make sure you get the water at the right temperature before you start. Too cold: the inside of your ass will tighten up and become uncomfortable. It’ll basically be going into shock. Too hot: you’re at risk of burning yourself and could end up in hospital.
If you’re using a Shower Head Douche, make sure the flow of water is at a slow, steady speed.
If the water is too fast, you could injure yourself. Also, your douching session has now turned into a full-on enema. You could have sprayed water way too deep into your colon and you’ll be waiting uncomfortably for ages for it to come out.
Many of us have been at a guys place without a douching device of any kind. So we’ve used a shower hose without the shower head. Of course you can do this, but the water flow thing and temperature thing are really important. Not just for your sex session but for your general health. So be careful guys.
Insert the device you’re using about 2 inches inside your anus. Let enough water in until you feel “full,” like you need to have a poo. It’ll feel strange the first time. Hold the water in for as long as you comfortably can (2 minutes, max maybe). This will give the warm water enough time to dislodge any especially sticky waste matter.
If you’re using a Bulb Head Douche, be careful not to let go of the squeezed bulb while it’s still inside your ass. Otherwise it’ll pull the water back into the douche. This is known as ‘suck-back.” Not fun.
Sit on the toilet and relax your butt muscles as if you were using the toilet to take a crap. Think of Princess Elsa. Just let it go.
Flush the loo. And then repeat the process. When you’ve got a clear toilet bowl, free of waste, then you’re ready to go and get on with some butt-sex.
One more thing. Give yourself some time. It’s usually best to douche about 20 or 30 minutes before you’re getting fucked, to give your butt time to relax a bit, and to make sure there’s no excess water in there that still wants to come out.