Culture

RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars 4 episode 7: Ru is one shady lady

Jan 26 2019
Written by Charlie Jones

Valentina of RuPaul's Drag Race All Stars 4

RuPaul’s Drag Race star Valentina (Comedy Central)

RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars 4, took us out for the night in Queen of Clubs.

Which queen made it to Heaven, and which ended up Stonewalled? Find out below.

Drag Race All Stars 4 Episode 7 Queen of Clubs: the verdict

How much Charisma, Uniqueness, Nerve and Talent was Episode 7 packing?

Overall: C.U.n

I’m grateful we’ve returned to the classic set up, where *shock*: a queen actually gets eliminated!

Seven episodes in and we’ve got rid of four, let’s please keep going—I’m running low on terribly one dimensional drag puns (so I might just have to wing it with the bee jokes instead this week).

Challenge: C.U.

It’s another odd one, folks.

Last week I lived for the challenge, but it was badly executed.

This week’s challenge had all the natural charisma of the comatose, but was shooketh into life by the queen’s electric personalities.

Lewks: C.U.n

Category is: Plastique Fantastique

The bee team brought their A game and got their honey.

The Drag Race bee team: Latrice, Manila, Trinity. (Comedy Central)

Monique and Monet’s transparent plastic outfits looked cheap and—despite their superior club night—plugged Black Hole’s chance of a win.

Naomi’s look was a 6, Valentina’s a 9.

RuPaul's Drag Race queens Naomi Smalls and Valentina

Naomi and Valentina serve plastique on the Drag Race runway (Comedy Central)

Drag Race All Stars 4 Episode 7: victim of the edit

The edit clubbed out some queens’ success this week.

Props to the sound guys, who don’t let anything get in the way of trying to control the viewer’s every thought—even if hearing the pointed rattlesnake effect under heavy club music was a bit bizarre.

A special mention also to VH1:

https://twitter.com/sebtauriello/status/1088987994114150403

But it was Manila whose buzz was killed by this edit.

Not “giving the other two a moment”—really Rita?

Latrice had the ENTIRE opening to herself and spent it basically just laying out the room’s dimensions—“This sprawling luxurious space of 20 x 16 feet, a lovely place for our community”—umm, thanks, but where bee the jokes?

Trinity had the whole MC set to herself (and was not too shab-bee).

But Manila—who had no domain of her own—inputs some actual jokes into the group interviews and she’s stung by an edit shadier and less trustworthy than Roger Stone.

https://twitter.com/emotrashcentral/status/1088981752209686528

All bee T?

Trinity and Manila won that.

But it’s a nice story if the comeback queen does well—for a change—so Latrice got her honey-moon.

Drag Race All Stars 4 Episode 7: the shade of it all

3rd place: Trinity “I keep forgetting about Naomi”

STOP HELPING THEM WITH THIS NARRATIVE, TRINITY.

Club it over the head. Remove its tail so it can’t sting. Put it on its back like a 96. Chuck it into a black hole.

2nd place: the costume department

RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars 4 queens try to fit Latrice into her costume. (Comedy Central)

Yes, watching Latrice howl with laughter trying to get in that used condom elicits only pure joy.

But that is one shady costume queen. You know just how chub-bee she is.

Winner: RuPaul

For not turning up to any of the club nights. You are one shady lady.

RuPaul's Drag Race All Stars 4 host RuPaul Andre Charles

RuPaul tries to act surprised when an assistant lets her know she missed the challenge (Comedy Central)

Drag Race All Stars 4 Episode 7: from rave to grave, it’s all about Valentina

100% Queen bee.

0% worker bee.

Drag Race’s most divisive diva wasn’t saved from the rave but sent to the grave.

It turns out concept team challenges are Valentina’s kryptonite, and by the end it seemed as if she’d given up.

So it took three WHOLE episodes to eliminate Valentina. She really did that. #allstars4 pic.twitter.com/p18y2TCivU

— Sheebs 🏵 (@Shelbi126) January 26, 2019

Just like Aquaria in that excruciating season 11 Ruveal—seriously, what was that?—Valentina was left beautiful, brilliant, and broken.

This time even Ru couldn’t save her.

And to be honey-st (sorry!), her identical pitches to Latrice and Trinity didn’t exactly help.

RuPaul's Drag Race All Stars 4 queen Valentina leaves the show.

This diva needs her stage. Valentina exits RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars 4 (Comedy Central)

Valentina—along with Brian Singer—brought down queens they’d been working with as a result of their own flaws.

But Naomi has turned into a killer queen herself and wastes no time getting out the narrative that she did the leg-work.

Keep yourself alive, eh.

But before she left us, Valentina inspired a gaynation to bee-lieve—last one, promise—in ourselves.

I'm attacking life like Valentina from now on.
Me to my landlord: "Paying my rent doesn't make sense with my fantasy."#AllStars4 pic.twitter.com/pUlHi9Yp3H— Giselle (@itsgissel) January 26, 2019

And—in her own way—to keep things in perspective.

The wisdom of RuPaul's Drag Race All Stars 4 queen Valentina

Valentina gets her priorities in order on Drag Race (Comedy Central)

And I reckon she still outperformed Trixie on All Stars 3.

Drag Race All Stars 4 Episode 7: lip sync, lip sink, or split lip?

Split lip—but Trinity was top.

Latrice rolling on a floor does not a winning lip sync make—I genuinely thought Ru was pollen my leg (I’M DONE I SWEAR) when she called it.

And Monet’s shade that the boobs didn’t go with the song?

Might that have anything to do with you feeling protective over a certain saggy look?

Great minds think alike! @monetxchange @TrinityTheTuck #DragRace #AllStars4 pic.twitter.com/D9n6OUtZYs— TheEyesOfArgus ✊🏻✊🏽✊🏿 (@eyes_argus) January 26, 2019