Bisexual

7 annoying, ridiculous and intrusive questions bisexual people put up with every day

Sep 23 2022
Written by Emma Powys Maurice

Bisexuals dispel some of the common myths and misconceptions about their sexuality

Brilliant bisexual people answer 7 of the most annoying but frequently asked questions about their sexuality, from “is bisexuality just a phase?” to “are you just greedy?”

Being bisexual can be exhausting. We’re commonly assumed to share the same experiences as gays and lesbians, but we face a unique set of stigmas and stereotypes: we’re told we’re greedy or manipulative or promiscuous or attention seeking, incapable of monogamy and unable to make up our minds. We just can’t win!

Sexuality isn’t and shouldn’t be a performance, yet bisexuals often feel they have to reaffirm their identities constantly to themselves and others to be seen as valid. Those that are out often have their sexuality misjudged based on who they’re dating, and those that aren’t out are told that what they’re feeling isn’t real, or just a phase.

While it’s true there’s no single bisexual experience, it’s no wonder that so many of us simply drift along like icebergs, preferring to keep our sexuality hidden beneath the surface. And it’s also unsurprising that these feelings can contribute to poor mental health in the bi community, in particular bisexual women.

“Bisexuality often needs an explanation,” wrote Brooklyn Nine Nine’s Stephanie Beatriz for GQ. “It isn’t something you can often ‘read’ on a person, and because of that bi people sometimes feel like an invisible part of the LGBTQIA community.”

The actor described her bisexual experience as “a continual series of coming-out moments” – first to her friends and family, then to the public in 2016, and again in 2018 when she married a man and had to explain that, yes, she is still 100 per cent queer.

Misconceptions like these make Bisexual Awareness Week and Bisexual Visibility Day is so important — it’s a chance to address biphobia both within the LGBTQ+ community and outside it, to recognise the challenges that bisexual people face and debunk the pesky stereotypes that contribute to bisexual erasure.

So without further ado, here are some brilliant bisexuals answering some frequently asked questions about their sexuality… so you never, ever have to ask them again!