YouTuber Adam B explains why coming out to millions of fans was so important: ‘This is my story’
Adam B in front of a billboard for his book, “Adam Wins The Internet”.
YouTuber Adam B has told PinkNews he came out to his 3.44 million subscribers because he “didn’t want to be the subject of another person’s perspective on his story”.
Speaking to PinkNews about everything from his love for Heartstopper to his new book Adam Wins The Internet, the Northern Irish YouTuber, author and former CBBC Blue Peter presenter explained why coming out publicly was so important to him.
Discussing his coming out video – which has been viewed more than 1.1 million times – 23-year-old Adam B, whose real name is Adam Beales, says one of the “driving forces” for publishing it was to prevent other people taking control of his narrative.
“What led me to doing it publicly is that I just didn’t want to be the subject of another person’s perspective on the story. Because this is my story. And I know exactly what happens in it.”
“[Now,] I don’t have to watch my back anymore when I’m out in public with my boyfriend, Dom; I don’t have to check if people are taking photos and posting them anywhere, because I was always conscious that this was my story. And I wanted to be the author, and I didn’t want anyone else to tell it for me.”
Adam’s boyfriend, Dominic, regularly features in his content, which contains challenges and pranks as well as life updates and vlogs.
And Adam told PinkNews the reaction to his coming out earlier this year has been generally positive.
“When I published that, I was at a point in my life where I just didn’t care what the reaction would be because months prior to that video getting published, I was on a seesaw for months… [it was] mentally exhausting, and I just can’t do it to myself and I can’t do it to my family, can’t do it to my partner.
“I was fully expecting a negative reaction… but it was the complete opposite, it was just an outpour of love and support. The people who want to unsubscribe… are the people that I don’t necessarily want to entertain anyway.”
He also said being able to help his queer viewers has far outweighed any negative comments.
“Even to this day, the amount of messages that I receive from people going through a similar journey and are sending me a message, to say, ‘you’ve helped’ – if I can play a part in any way in their journeys, then that means the world to me.”
When asked who helped him through his coming out experience, Adam B says he turned to everyone’s favourite queer coming-of-age story, Heartstopper.
“It helped me realise that it would be OK, and that other people go through this journey – it was really good representation for me to see that.
“I was watching it through a time where I was still in the closet, so it had an even bigger impact… I can’t explain the effect that it had on me.”
Adam’s book, Adam Wins The Internet follows a boy, also named Adam, tasked with hitting one million subscribers within a year – and the YouTuber says he related a lot of his personal experiences to the character.
“It was very easy to write in that sense, because I could relate a lot of it to true events that happened – and at the end of the book, he learns a very valuable lesson.
“If I start to think about the numbers too much, and if I start to dwell on performances to a point where it affects my mental health, that’s where it gets dangerous.”
It’s been out for just over a month – becoming a number one UK bestseller for children’s fiction debut (hardback) and number one Irish children’s fiction debut – and Adam is already writing his second book.
Adam B says when he came out to his parents “nothing changed” – and he told PinkNews he thinks we’re moving towards a time where that will be the case for everyone, paying respects to queer trailblazers before him.
“This path was formed by loads of people before me – they’re the real credit, and they’re the people who’ve made it comfortable for people to come out nowadays and for families to accept it more openly.”
He said that “as the world starts to get more diverse and people just become a lot more open minded”, the need for coming out will eventually disappear, but has credited his family for being so supportive.
“It’s the most beautiful thing when you can be yourself with the people you love.”
For now, though, Adam’s YouTube channel is flourishing, with a host of projects in the works – but he’s not taking it for granted.
“I’m eternally grateful for all the things that are going on at the minute with my life – I’m also very aware too of how fast things can change, you know, with the nature of my job and the nature of this sort of line of work, so I’m always keen to count my blessings.”
