This gay episode from MTV’s mid-00s dating show Next will make you cringe into oblivion
A clip from a gays-only episode of MTV’s mid-00s dating show Next has resurfaced on Twitter, and the internet is cringing hard.
The now-wildly dated series, which originally aired from 2005-08, saw contestants go on a series of blind dates aboard the ‘Next Bus’ that they could end at any time by shouting ‘Next!’
A novel concept, and one that could only possibly have been improved with the addition of some gays to the MTV show.
That’s exactly what the resurfaced clip shows, along with the caption: “The gays of the early 2000s were a hot mess.”
This seems a fair assessment, given some of the entrance lines that we’re treated to when introduced to the blind dates.
“This guy won’t say next when he sees my package.” – Alex, 18
“Beware boys, my ass is fabulous.” – Carlos, 20
“I’m gonna win because I’ve got a d**k like a Giant Sequoia.” – Christopher, 19
“This guy’s gonna pick me because I’m as crazy as my hair is.” – Jeff, 18
“Guys love me, because I look corruptible.” – Keith, 20
The ‘Nexter’ is called Evan, a 21-year-old “artristic, fun-loving gay man” who “loves to sing and dance, it’s so much fun”.
The dates are just as cringe-worthy as the intros – Alex doesn’t get past the first thirty seconds due to his “really weak handshake”.
After Evan calls ‘Next’, Alex says: “You’re really f**king ugly, and it’s your loss, b***h.” Classic.
Carlos is more confident: “With this ass, I’ll definitely last longer than the minute.” In fairness, he lasted 28 minutes and 45 seconds, which seems like a satisfactory length of time.
Christopher gets the chop after being told that Evan is “uncomfortable with the stripping thing”, and tells Evan to “get a pedicure, buddy”.
Wild-haired Jeff leaves the TV show date with the scorching line: “I’ll tell the people on the bus Chewbacca said ‘Hey,'” to which Evan replies: “God may forgive you for being gay, but no one’s gonna forgive you for that haircut, buddy.”
Keith – who apparently owns 26 pairs of designer jeans – ‘Nexts’ himself, leaving Evan to reflect that “It’s not as much fun when the tables are turned”.
Wild.
Twitter has – obviously – had a field day, with one user writing: “This could be shown as promotion for homophobia.” Harsh.
Another user pointed out that the cast members of the MTV show were likely encouraged to play up to gay stereotypes in order to make it on to the show.