Every Drag Race finale cast remix, from ‘Read U Wrote U’ to ‘Blame It on the Edit’, ranked
Ranking every Drag Race Cast Rumix (@RuPaulsDragRace/ Getty)
Following season 15’s stellar reworking of RuPaul’s “Blame It on the Edit”, it’s time to rank every finale cast remix track on RuPaul’s Drag Race.
Being featured on a RuPaul song is fast becoming the drag queen equivalent of jury duty, in which some of the highest-placed queens lay down a verse of their own creation, in what is often the last challenge of a season.
But which remix will end up the super queen, which will clap back and which will get lucky?
No early or mid-season challenges or Rusical numbers have been considered in our ranking. This space is for season-enders only. So, in reverse order…
12. ‘Super Queen’ – All Stars 4
Just making it on to the list is the inexplicably slowed-down Drag Race cast remix of “Super Queen”, featuring Monét X Change, Monique Heart, Trinity the Tuck and Naomi Smalls.
On paper, that’s a sickening combination. In reality, the only lyric I remember is Monique saying “never ashy”, and even the inclusion of previous All Stars winners “playing” instruments doesn’t save the day.
Chad Michaels pretends to DJ, and it’s the last time we saw her on Drag Race. That should tell you all you need to know.
11. ‘This is Our Country’ – All Stars 6
Letting down an otherwise surprisingly strong season of All Stars, the top four cast remix being a USA-dedicated country song at the back end of a year that became the deadliest on record for trans people is a peak example of not reading the room.
Eureka O’Hara starts her verse by talking about Marie Antoinette and Catherine the Great for some reason, Ginger Minj fails to do anything memorable, and while Kylie Sonique Love looks flawless and Ra’Jah O’Hara has a decent (and important) verse, this remains a flop.
I can’t even give points for the topless cowboys, because there are topless dancers in almost all these numbers. Not even a crunchy cartwheel from Sonique or a feature from Tanya Tucker can bump it up the list.
10. ‘Drag Race Vegas Medley’ – season 12
I never understood how losing is the new winning, but season 12 queens Gigi Goode, Crystal Methyd, Jaida Essence Hall and Jackie Cox tried their darndest to teach me.
Unfortunately, after an eight-minute medley, I was none the wiser. More importantly, the audience was tired of pretending that there wasn’t a fifth queen that production clearly favoured, but were forced to edit out (Sh*rry P*e), which is probably why there’s no video of the number available anywhere.
It’s also pretty low on the list because it reads like – and is – a shameless plug for Las Vegas show RuPaul’s Drag Race Live!
Still, solid verses from some, and I can still remember Gigi sliding across the floor like a queer Spider-Man.
9. ‘Catwalk’ – season 14
Featuring five queens in the form of Lady Camden, Angeria Paris Van Michaels, Willow Pill, Bosco and the only previously eliminated queen to make a finale on a regular season, Daya Betty, this number is less catwalk and more hairball.
Awful joke aside, the verses on this cast remix were generally passable while Miss Daya Bettica and Lady Camden’s “Step, SMACK”, are very good.
There is zero reason for the queens to all be wearing production-made costumes rather than their own wardrobe, but the choreography is actually pretty fierce, and credit where credit is due for crawl-gate, in which Michelle repeatedly advises Angeria to crawl along the floor, who completely ignore her, only for Daya Bolical to do it instead.
That’s hot.
8. ‘Clap Back’ – All Stars 5
When this remix landed, it made absolutely no noise, which made zero sense considering the cast of three fan favourites: Miz Cracker, Jujubee and Shea Coulée.
The performance is slightly soured because the whole season was essentially a formality to hand Shea her crown and because her verse pales when compared with the masterpiece she offered on her first appearance in the Drag Race arena.
It does feel rough to put the number this low on the list, but I can’t justify placing it any higher, purely because of how good the numbers above it are.
Shea’s dancer-to-dancer cartwheel is sickening, though, and Cracker has some great lines. And, like many seasons of Drag Race, Jujubee is there.
7. ‘American’ – season 10
Asia O’Hara, Eureka O’Hara and Kameron Michaels owe season-winner Aquaria’s verse for dragging this RuMix up the list.
Starting a song called “American” by saying “Bonjour!”, the line “I might be an Aquarian but I am an (American)” and “Turning looks, stunting pretty, I’m the b***h from New York City” all belong in whatever the poet laureate equivalent of songwriting for a Drag Race cast remix is.
We have Eureka being the elephant queen, Asia’s gorgeous feathered leotard, and the queens all felt cohesive in the number, especially during the final dance break, which isn’t always the case.
6. ‘Queens Everywhere’ – season 11
I’ll be honest, I expected to rank “Queens Everywhere”, featuring Yvie Oddly, Brooke Lynn Hytes, A’keria Chanel Davenport, Vanessa Vanjie Mateo and Silky Nutmeg Ganache a lot lower, not least because of how many words there are in all of those queen’s names.
It’s higher than “American” because there are more purely meme-worthy moments. “Where is the body?” is fantastic, Silky doing what can only be described as a “ka-splat” is what legends are made of, Brooke Lynn asking if we validate parking is objectively funny, and you can’t not love Miss Vanjie, even if she doesn’t seem to know a single word of her lyrics.
And of course, Yvie’s verse can only be described as masterful.
5. ‘Lucky’ – season 13
Sitting pretty in the top five, the season 13 remix, featuring Symone, Rosé, Kandy Muse and Gottmik, is objectively sickening.
Gottmik’s verse is a love letter to gender non-conforming kids, Symone looks absolutely amazing in orange and Rosé’s combination of bulging biceps and lingerie left me more sexually confused than the first time I saw Chris Evans in Fantastic Four – not to mention her lyrical craftsmanship.
The song is also properly mixed and well directed but gets a points deduction because Kandy does rhyme “back” with “back” three times. Oh well, nobody’s perfect.
4. ‘Kitty Girl’ – All Stars 3
This one-take wonder had a lot to live up to, and boy did it deliver. Shangela, Kennedy Davenport, Trixie Mattel and BeBe Zahara Benet all eat/munch/devour to varying degrees, and you can’t deny how sickening the video is.
The number also has a nice touch in that it features the eliminated queens as backing dancers and, though I can’t imagine they were too thrilled about their roles, it’s great for viewers.
None of the verses are the stuff of which legends are made, but there are some strong lines and seeing BeBe flail while on the main stage will never not make me laugh.
The world is also unlikely to forget Kennedy‘s timeless declaration: “Feel your puss down deep in your soul.”
3. ‘Blame it on the Edit’ – season 15
This is the most recent entry, and it would be criminal to say these girls are doing anything other than completely hoovering up any available crumbs. All four of season 15’s top girls look fierce and all of their verses are original in their own way.
As I wrote in my weekly recap, Luxx and Mistress Isabelle Brooks’ verses are strong despite bordering on giving generic Drag Race finale, but both sell their offerings so well in the video, doing all the things Ru loves: referencing the show and showing unshakeable confidence.
At this point, it would be impossible for Anetra to look anything other than illegally good, and she walks her ducks for bonus points.
I’ve not mentioned Sasha Colby until now because (even though she sounds like Snoop Dogg here), she just has it. Hitherto impossible levels of serve.
2. ‘Category Is…’ – season 9
Put simply, this is undeniably good. Shea Coulée, Peppermint, Sasha Velour and Trinity the Tuck turn this challenge out – it’s no surprise that three of these four queens now have crowns.
The jewel of the song remains Miss Coulée’s verse, which give the closest thing to Beyoncé that Drag Race has ever seen – and yes that does include season 15’s Beyoncé runway.
Sasha and Peppermint turn it out too, even if Trinity’s verse isn’t the strongest. One of Drag Race‘s most dynamic final fours leave an indelible mark on RuMixes for ever.
1. ‘Read U Wrote U’ – All Stars 2
And the winner is … well, this should come as no surprise: sometimes the popular choice is the correct choice.
Everyone remembers where they were when they first heard the line “your dad just calls me Katya”.
Alaska is bright blue for some reason and tells a dancer to get in her basket, Detox’s chair-ography and “D to the E to the T to the O to the – hold up – X” remains unmatched, and even Roxxxy Andrew’s verse has become the stuff of legend.
Katya’s verse and choreo still stand as the highlight, and I truly don’t know whether “Read U Wrote U” will ever be topped.
