Ask the Aunties: Should I ask my son if he is gay?

Lee Gray, Karnage Kills and Rhys Hollis are the queer agony aunts you always wanted, and they’re here to give you advice on the questions around sexuality, relationships and just life in general.

In this episode of Ask the Aunties, our fabulous queer agony aunts Karnage, Lee and Rhys offer advice to a parent who thinks their son may be gay.

It’s a question that many parents ponder as their children grow up into teenage year: if they think their kids may be LGBTQ+, should they ask or wait?

The dilemma: Should I ask my son if he’s gay?

Dear Aunties,

I think my son might be gay—he never seems very interested in girls and he’s started hanging out with one of his boy mates lots lately.

He’s not majorly into sports and he’s not a very macho guy but I also don’t want to stereotype him.

I think he might be gay, how can I let him know I support him without forcing him to come out?

Ask the Aunties: their response

“Say it without saying it,” says Auntie Karnage, “You don’t have to ask him, you don’t have to get into his business.”

Rhys agrees: “If it’s about support, then you can support queerness and being gay and it doesn’t have to be such a ‘thing.'”

“It’s your son so at the end of the day what you should be interested in this is well-being and making sure that he is happy,” Lee chimes in.

He continues: “His sexuality, he will have a conversation with you about it when he is ready.

“Yes, you’re his parent – you care whether he may be gay or straight – but it’s not your job to bring them out the closet.”

“Make sure that you leave them space so they feel comfortable to come and speak to you about it when they’re ready,” Lee concludes.